I think Eating is gross but i love food?

every time i eat or look at food i have to eat i get nauseous or get dizzy. i really dont wanna eat but i know i have to and when i finish eating i feel like i might pop but i only took like 5 bites. i feel so bad about my self because i know im fat and i wanna lose weight and i cant beacause im always stuffing my face. i want to die. my mom tells me to stop stufing my face alll the time. to procrastinate i always end up snackng ..........im 14 5'8" and weigh 165lbs........i have fat thighs and grandma bat wing wpper arms and blubber on my stomach.........can u tell me whats wrong or if there is a namme for this